


the way a knife loves a heart

by orphan_account



Series: prompts from tumblr [1]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Hurt No Comfort, Other, Snapshots, Time Skips, Tumblr Prompt, my friend made me write angst so i wrote it about her otp because that's what friends are for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 06:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13969197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: MON 11:26 PMSasha: Want to know something I never told anyone during filming?





	the way a knife loves a heart

**Author's Note:**

> hey there, and thank you for reading my fic! this is the first thing i ever wrote for the rpdr fandom, so i figured it should be the first thing i post to ao3. everything on my account will be cross-posted to artificialqueens over on tumblr, tagged thief. hope you enjoy!

**26\. i love you the way a knife loves a heart the way a bomb loves a crowd the way your mother warned you about, essentially.**

**(the way a human loves another human)**

 

* * *

 

_I love you the way a knife loves a heart_

 

Sasha can’t possibly tell her. She can hardly tell it to herself. It’s been four, maybe 5 weeks (longer, if you count the Facebook request gathering dust on her computer back home) and Sasha still won’t let herself acknowledge the hope, the searing hot light that shines out of the gaps in her ribcage every time she walks on set with Shea by her side.

It’s not what she- what anyone came here to do. A handful of them are gone already, packed up neatly and shipped back home, and the gaps in the shelf full of RuPaul statuettes are… hidden behind camera crew and sound equipment most of the time, but they’re there, is the point she’s trying to make. They’re stressful, and they stare at Sasha when she's trying to sew. Strolling into Shea’s hotel room and saying ‘hey, I know we were both dressed like lesbian versions of the Wiggles and Alexis Michelle was like _right there_ but I wish I'd kissed you when we were filming that breakfast talk show’ is absolutely out of the question.

So Sasha will sit here in her hotel room, and not think about it. Not the confession, or the statuettes, or the kissing. Definitely not the kissing.

 

_the way a bomb loves a crowd_

 

Sasha found a rose petal in her bra, afterwards. She’s not at all sure how it got there - her dress was skin-tight, and most of the petals just rolled off her shoulders onto the stage floor. Then again, she was flailing pretty hard towards the end of her performance, tossing petals around and chewing the scenery. If the dull roar of the crowd still ringing in her ears is anything to judge by, it worked.

But it’s not quite loud enough to drown out the sobbing, bouncing off the walls of the makeshift hallway backstage towards her. Sasha has been frozen in place for nearly a minute, gloves in hand, listening to the sounds of someone whose world has just come crumbling down around them. This can't be right. It can't be right because Sasha had already accepted that Shea would win a while ago, before season filming had even finished, and anything else feels wrong all the way down to her marrow. It had been between takes of the runway walks for the ball when she’d realised. She’d looked at Shea, who was sat at a worktable on the other side of the room examining her french tips, and thought, _oh, the crown will look beautiful on you_.

She should go to her. She goes back to her dressing room instead.

 

_the way your mother warned you about, essentially._

 

They don’t talk as much anymore. After the tour and the shoots for the magazine, after the tidal wave of work has shattered on the sand and dissipated, they just… don’t. Sasha could argue that she’s still too busy, and she wouldn’t be completely wrong - watching nightgowns take its first fumbling baby steps into the wider world, opening the new House of Velour, and who knew making an app was so hard? - but she won’t try to lie to herself, lest she starts believing it. There was less to talk about, as time went on, gradually pulling them apart. There might not have been that much there in the first place. Sasha doesn’t want to admit it, but Shea looked different without the harsh studio lights on her face. Maybe they both did.

MON 11:26 PM  
Sasha: Want to know something I never told anyone during filming?

She’s asleep.

 

_(the way a human loves another human)_


End file.
